Today I was reminded on a song I have not listened to in years. "You are Loved (Don't Give Up)" by Josh Groban. The first time I heard this song was in my first area, in my little apartment in Rostock, Germany. My trainer introduced this song to me, and it became a motivation for me the rest of my mission. I remember a particular hard day. My trainer and I got home around 9 p.m, maybe a little after, and we were very bummed and tired from the day. She then turned this song on. It became the song we would listen to at the end of our hard days. At the end of two transfers together, she even made me my next planner with the same inspiring song.
I continued to listen to this song on those hard days the rest of my mission. But, now I am reflecting on the mission and life it would seem. For those who know me and know my story, know how a mission was my ultimate goal. I dreamed of it since I was little and did not waste any time on my mission papers and entering the MTC soon after my 21st birthday. I remember when my mission was coming to an end and how lost I really felt. Honestly besides one day become a published author, I had no other goals. I feel bad that now being a mother, I never really had that as a big goal or plan. I feel like I am still searching for that next big goal and adventure. The mission was really what I lived for.
So, I would like to share some excerpts from various letters I wrote on my mission:
Oct. 31, 2010
" Someone who spoke on Wednesday said, 'If you are not laughing, you are doing it wrong.'"
Nov. 4, 2010
"My (MTC) mission president talked to me privately. . . he told me the best Sister missionaries that go to Germany and can't really speak German, never fail because they know the true reason on why they are out there and that is to invite others to come unto Christ. We put our trust in Christ that we may speak by the gift of tongues. He told me that every time I see him, I need to say something new in German to him. . . I know the Lord will bless me with this gift if I do my part in practicing and studying the gospel every day."
Sep. 12, 2011
"I realized that I really do learn something every day and every moment of my mission. . . . I want to focus on 'Just Listen.' I have seen myself come a long way from when I first started my mission to now, and I am so grateful for that. I can actually speak German now and understand it. It may not be very good, but I can at least get my message across and trust the Lord to help me communicate. Sister Bush and I started off our first week together not very good. We both are very different, and it was hard for me. But, I learned to JUST LISTEN. I did not want the beginning to also end up being the end. So I listened to the spirit, and I began to serve her. . . I remember when I first met Sister Bush and one of the first things I said to her was 'Let's go baptize Kiel.' She told me that she has always been scared to extend that commitment, and I told her I was not. So we began working."
April 2, 2012
"I met this guy named Nitya on the street. We talked about Jesus Christ and that we wanted to bring him a book. He was super excited about it and made an appointment with us. . . Nitya brought his friend Mishra with him. . . We taught them the first lesson and about authority and they understood it right away. . . After the appointment Nitya told us in his words, 'After I talked to you Sisters on the street, I got even more excited that I put my reminder alarm in my phone and wrote 'meeting with Jesus.' That was the greatest and funnest thing I have heard."
I could go on with more excerpts, but GREAT IS MY JOY. That was my mission motto. I hope to make that the motto for the rest of my life. Just remember, 'Don't Give Up, You Are Loved.'
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